Of Friends

Today i managed to annoy practically everyone i work with and some people who just happened to ,unfortunately for them,cross my path.it was a mildly strange experience because mostly i am sunshine and light.and while i certainly let loose with a full blown thunderstorm upon occasion,smiting all in my path,it is very unusual for me to ...merely hint at an oncoming storm..you know,just distant threatening rumbles...so depending on who i was dealing with,i hinted at a shower of tears, a draft of chill,a threat of anger.the really surprising part of the whole story is,that it worked.after a very long time,everything went my way,exactly the way i wanted things to go.and all because i was a little rude,a little stubborn,and absolutely not accommodating ...it is a revelation of sorts and definitely something to be kept in mind for future reference..hmmm,interesting.

so..got to thinking about old friends today.from school through college and later on,when the thrill of my first salary was only equalled by the thrill of blowing it all up(most of it on shoes!),i have made some very good friends.some of them are fun,in an insane kind of way,some full of calm good sense.some are wise,some are foolish(often the same people!!),some take delight in shouting in movie halls,some are very quiet and sophisticated.some stubborn to the point of making me rip out my hair in frustration,and some very mild and agreeable.some of them have let me down when i needed them the most and some have stuck with me without question throughout.some i have treated badly and some have broken my heart.

but what sets all of them apart from all my acquaintances and makes them my friends,is the the fact and we all have accepted the reality of who we are and what we are.and while sometimes we have to forgive that reality,some times we get to celebrate it as well.so yes,i still have expectations from them,knowing full well that they might,hell probably will,disappoint me.and i know for a fact that i will do the same.but what saves all of us, at the end of the day,is a sense of belonging..they are my family and i am theirs and the world may end in ashes or ice and we may shout ourselves hoarse at each other ..but when the soot has settled and the ice flakes melted, we still stay friends..its a simple word,friends,but the full meaning of it is very far from simple....love and trust and loyalty...fun and fights and laughter...telling the truth when it is easier to lie and listening to it when it burns a hole in your gut...knowing who will go to the wall for you and accepting that they may not be the same people you would do so for..

different though they are from each other,some weird,some normal,all wonderful people that they are, all of them have two things in common...a)they all have extremely strange taste in music..and b)they are all of them,without exception,always late whenever they are meeting with me!

going to meet my official oldest friend tomorrow.she will,of course, be late.i will of course,be fuming.and then she will turn up with her gorgeous smile,and be full of sass.she will be wearing diamonds and black nail polish and will insist on trying exotic and inedible foodstuffs and then end up eating from my plate when the inedible part kicks in!..she will not let me buy the shoes i want and will bully me into trying off the shoulder dresses ..i will enjoy every minute of it!may take her up on the scoop neckline dresses,but not the off shoulder ones.ummm,not yet.definitely,not yet.

Of Courage

Goodness without strenght,honesty without intelligence,and courage without wisdom are wasted virtues,similar to coffee without the kick, ice cream without the chill and anything without salt.the unfortunate part of the story is that you have to be born with a good many of these virtues...some you can acquire...but can you really change who you are deep down inside?honesty can be learnt but goodness you have to have inside..wisdom comes with experience but intelligence is a gift....but perhaps the most beguiling,the most bewildering of the lot is courage..

I think everyone can be brave.that its a matter of choice.for is it not true,that Courage is not the absence of fear but the ability to stand up for the fight inspite of it?...because the biggest enemy you have to deafeat is ,at the end of the day,yourself...

Courage has a different defination for everyone.it can mean physical courage,the ability to face a bullet without flinching,of being able to tolerate the hideous pain from broken bones with nonchalence and style...or it might mean emotional courage,to be true and loyal to your relationships..it can simply mean being able to live for one more day when you had rather give up and give in..courage is in the simple act of standing up for the national anthem in a movie hall,knowing people will smirk...... or to be able to laugh with the sheer joy of living,when everything you have is on stake and the dice is spinning in the air... ...but perhaps the most vital form of courage is the ability to accept truth.. about the people in your life.and most of all ,about yourself...

.to know who i am,what i am ,why i am.. to know that nobody is perfect,that perfectness is an insult,because we are humans,gloriously flawed,utterly beautiful because we are imperfect,unique,each one of us,with the potential for the good ,the ugly ,the insanity and innocence all seething inside us.... an angel to someone and a devil to another...and to know that to err ,to stumble,to be less than what you can be today is okay,because tommorow you can be right,be strong and be much more than you ever dreamt of being.....to know and understand and acknowledge ...requires courage.

so more than goodness,more than honesty and some days even more than integrity,i respect courage...in all its colours and with all its style,in all its glory,and all its might,with all its power and at times foolishness, i hope and pray that Courage continues to walk the earth for a very long time to come...

of dreams

silently,swiftly, like winged death, he drew out his sword..for a moment it glinted in his hand,a promise of retribution....i could hear the screams,could smell the blood,see the bodies that littered the battlefield..but my attention was all for that one warrior..his eyes cold with fury, his face set with determination,his courage and pride a palpable thing in the air around him....was he the blue blooded prince?or was he the illegetimate offspring of the old amorous king?or was he simply a renegade on the run?i didn't know....all i knew with a quiet,deep rooted despair was that this man, whose face had haunted my dreams before i had even met him,who had walked into my life and changed everything for ever,changed me forever,was going to die today....for was i not the Seer of this little kingdom set in this green valley and did not all my dreams come true?

i watched,and saw the arrow fly clear and true to its mark.it struck him right in the breast,as i knew it would.and saw the man i loved more than life itself fall...and then i was running,like allthe demons in hell were at my heels,running towards death or madness,i knew not which and cared not either...

and then i was there,kneeling beside him,tears pouring down my face,pleas and prayers and curses mingling in my head..were the screams i heard mine or of the ghosts around me?...and then suddenly his eyes were open and right on mine.he smiled, and i looked down on his chest and saw the charm locket i had put around his neck hours ago,dented and badly damaged by the arrow which had failed to pierce his heart,my heart...