Of The Lady of Shallot

"...his mood was often like a fiend,and rose
and drove him into wastes and solitudes
for agony,who was yet a living soul
marred as he was,he seemed the goodliest man
that among the ladies ate in the hall
and noblest when she lifted up her eyes
however marred,of more than twice her years
seamed with an ancient swordcut on his cheek
and bruised and bronzed,she lifted up her eyes
and loved him,with that love which was her doom..."

and thus goes the poem about the lily maid,Elaine of Astalot,who loved Lancelot,that brave and tortured knight of King Arthur's round table,who was in turn desperately,madly,almost against his will,in love with Guinevere,Arthur's Queen.Elaine died in the end,loving Lancelot and unable to live without him..

i dont think Lancelot really cared one way or the other about that..in fact when he found out she had died for love of him,he told the court he had never given her reason to fall for him..and none of them particularly cared,anyway.... in the grand story of King Arthur's legendary life,with its drama,trials and tribulations,she is nothing more than a footnote.This terrifyingly young girl,with her naivete and innocence and the all consuming love which made her choose death over life,is only an incident to be regretted...did Lancelot forget her ..or did her memory return,at times when he least expected it?..did he even know the extent to which she loved him..beyond boundaries,beyond reason,beyond sanity...or was the hold Guinevere had on him so strong that nothing else existed for him...when he lay dying who was it he thought of...Elaine?or Guinevere...mind you ,i dont blame Lancelot for her death.or for not being able to love her back... at the end of the day,Arthur is right when he says"..let love be free,free love is best.." but i am sad for the whole sequence of events in general ..for everyone in this story.

Arthur who had to deal with the double betrayal of his wife and best friend,not to mention all the political problems and the general dysfunctionalness of the Pendragon family.i do not care much for Guinevere since she had the best deal..,although she felt guilty,her passions were still stronger than her love for her King..poor Lancelot,he had way too many troubles,what with betraying his best friend by sleeping with his wife and stuff and all the subsequent guilt,not to mention being miserably in love with someone he could never have...but all these characters are powerful...even their suffering seems to be full of glamour.They have an aura about them,they count.But my poor little lily maid is only a sweet girl who met the wrong man at the wrong time...she,who suffered as greatly as any of them,is almost lost in their story...a wispy shadow of regret... a small smothered sigh...she doesn't count..and that seems to me to be tragically unfair..


and so no one really mourned Elaine of Astolat,the girl who died for love..do i think it was a waste..maybe..but what matters is whether she thought it was worth dying for or not..if she did,then i do not feel sorry for her..i can be sad for lost chances and unfulfilled dreams.. and i can let my heart break a little...and yes,envy her a little...for how many of us find a love worth dying for...?