Of Movies..

Was watching titanic and sighing over Leo and Kate and bemoaning the fact that they are not together(why not?why not? they are totally perfect together..what is wrong with this universe?!!WHAT? WHAT?)apparently the story is that they are "just friends".just friends,just friends?ridiculous,fishy phrase.at the Oscars when she won,the only name she could remember was Leo's.just friends,my left ankle joint!

anyway,titanic is one of the first movies i watched in a hall.remember crying copious tears over it when Leo drowned with one of my closest friends saying over and over again"oh no,oh no,oh no,i hate to see a good looking guy drown!!"i am fairly prone to shed tears in movie halls,with alarming predictability,friends and family beginning to peer at my face right from the beginning of the offending scenes at regular intervals while i hunch up defensively,trying not to sniffle.

once,i remember,my friends sat watching me minutely,not paying any attention to the hero's deathbed gasps,commentating on my emotional state!it went something like this"kaushiki are you crying?" "is she crying?"..then to some friends sitting further off who were craning their necks"not yet,she has'nt started yet !" ..."kaushiki,you aren't crying,are you?"...and then one weary voice asking another in front of us"what is a kaushiki,do you think?" and another weary voice replying"the reason why the seats are so cheap?"..guffaws at his enormous wit(hah hah very funny i dont think!).and so on untill i burst into tears,with rage ,humiliation and grief,not being sure even now which was predominating,at which they all chorused"arre yaar,ro kyyon rahi hai..itni buri lag rahi hai to chalte hai!!"and then bursting into giggles at this obviously pre planned deal.all in all,it was a fairly memorable evening.

my sister is marginally better,just throwing contemptuous looks at me and saying "sucker!"witheringly at intervals.the thing is i like crying at emotional scenes.i enjoy suffering in a second hand fashion,secure in the knowledge that this isn't actually me this is happening to.also unfortunately i have hyperactive tear glands at least in the safety and darkness of movie halls.i love the moment when the lights go out and you are just another shadow in the crowd,and your life will cease to exist for the next three hours.i love the comfort that anonymity brings.and i just plain love hindi movies!the drama and impossibilities and randomness makes me feel very happy.highbrow friends look down upon me and tend to snigger,but i don't care.i love especially the movies from the seventies and Govinda movies.especially Govinda movies!they make me laugh so much.and the best thing about them is that they are totally honest about what they are.no pretension at a storyline,believable or otherwise.they are simple,uncomplicated,occasionally vulgar but strangely liberating. they make me feel that life cant really be very bad in a world where yellow leather pants can be not only worn but positively celebrated!

i believe the purpose of cinema is to take you out of yourself for just a little while and push the world away.you can be the heroine,living the impossibly tender love story,always saying the right things in a rain drenched sequence or the hero who will never do the wrong thing in a crisis.you get to forget all your flaws and the practicality and heartbreak of real life..and be,maybe,just for a little while,Simran who woke up one morning to the realisation that Raj had indeed come...or be Vanraj,who hears footsteps running behind him on the bridge and know, that against all impossible odds, he has won..

not horror movies though.i hate horror movies.they don't much bother me at the time itself,if that is,you cut out the music(stuff your fingers into your ears and make determined humming noises).it is the later that worries me.the long ill lighted corridor to the bathroom is not just a nuisance any more,its a preordained trick of destiny waiting to deliver your into the jaws of the Thing.i don't understand people who watch horror movies for the kick,i really don't.my best friend is one such person.in fact its quite disturbing to see the glow in her face when she recounts some particularly nasty scene involving death by dismemberment as i watch in fascinated uh,horror.she is in fact so very different from me,that i remember in one movie(i think it was Mujhse Dosti Karoge,yes yes i know!) she burst into laughter at the exact same moment that i burst into tears!my sister since she shares this particular infliction of mine,tends to be sympathetic about my aversion to horror movies(though i still haven't forgiven her for sneaking upto me in the middle of Gothika and making a loud noise thereby almost orphaning my yet to be born children and incidentally the small girl across the hallway of someone to make faces at.i swear that kid lies in wait especially for me...).my mother on the other hand,on the only occasion i went to a scary movie with her idly blew her popcorn bag and burst it at an exceptionally tense moment,thus testing the bladder capacities of several of those present,and almost causing a riot.my father,when i indignantly told him that his wife almost got me lynched,confided that her hardiness had come as a great sorrow and disappointment to him as on their first date he had taken her to watch the exorcist,expecting great things,only to have her fall asleep in the middle of it!
genetics works in weird ways...

so now as the Titanic goes down and i watch,i pray hard that this time Leo will live..just as i always pray that Rhett will not leave,that Boo will come out sometime again and that Neil will find the courage to live..