Regrets and Memories

sometimes its only too easy to take friends for granted.. you take off to new horizons,without bothering to look back,maybe convinced that they will always be there,maybe forgetting all about them for a while..
but then one day,you may be sitting,surrounded by new friends..in a new life,with everything you have always wanted right next to you..and a chance phrase..or random joke...or a casual comment..may trigger memories which seem to belong to another lifetime..nostalgia,sharp and raw...with all its attendant longings and regrets..memories of sunshine and laughter and dreams...when you would plan your life and live out your triumphs in imagination..when tomorrow was always yours..when anything seemed possible..when life was still a grand song waiting to be sung..when the only things you could count on were your wits ..and your friends..

you might want to go back,then..back to those old friends..maybe you would call on the last no you had and find that its now not in use any longer.they changed it and never bothered to tell you.you might try desperately to remember the last time you spoke to them..was it months ago or has it been a year already?..surely it hasn't been longer?..and when was the time you had a actual conversation with them,not just a hi-bye,gotta run,very busy,will call you soon...when was the last time you laughed with them..or told them a secret...when?...you might then somehow get the no and call...
what would you hear after the first hello?...would they recognise your voice even...and if they did,what would they say..would it be surprise and pleasure..if you are lucky,maybe.

or would there be surprise and awkwardness..after the do you re member's are over,would you find you had nothing left to say to each other except trite commonplaces..would you both then find excuses to hang up,promising to call again soon,but knowing really,that what you thought was forever was lost..remembering with sadness and just a touch of cynicism the quiet conviction with which you had once called them "family"..

i have been on both sides of the fence.have lost people who cared about me through sheer carelessness..looking back i find that it was not that i didn't love them or care about them..it was just,that i always thought tomorrow would be soon enough to call..today was always so busy,i had so many things to do,i was so sleepy..that tomorrow i would call..and i have waited for some other friends to call and catch up,thinking indulgently that "she is busy,has lots of things to deal with".i might miss her when i something funny happens and i want to tell her and she doesn't pick up the phone and doesn't call back..but then there is someone else who will laugh with me,and i might forget to miss her...and then one day,with a sense of shock ill realise,that i don't even think of her anymore when something funny or strange or bad happens to me..its someone else now...and there may be a twinge of regret,but underlying it will be anger...and finally acceptance..and then indifference....and so they will slip away..all the people you loved and counted on and shared so much of yourself with..

change is the law..but it should not mean loss..of real friendship...of your past self...of something rare and beautiful...so before you put off that phone call,ask yourself if tomorrow may not be too late..ask yourself if you can afford to lose this friend..ask yourself if regrets and memories will make up for unconditional love and unfailing support....
so i will wish happiness for all of you..i will wish success and prosperity and fulfillment of dreams...and i will wish for a Saturday,twenty years later,when you sit in a coffee shop,fuming with anger,because the week has been horrible and on top of that the people who have been making you wait for the past twenty years are late again...and you swear to yourself that this is the last time,you are in time,by god,when the door opens and in breeze your closest friends..your family..with the same lame excuses and bright laughter..and suddenly you are laughing as well,nothing is as bad as it seemed,and you will say"hey guys,do you know,something really funny happened at work today.."